Happy Thoughts on an Autumn Day

Fall.  This time of year everything is falling—leaves, blossoms, the temperature—and autumn has its’ own brand of beauty in all this universal falling.

The only thing that disturbs me about this time of year is my birthday and over past autumns is the unmistakable fact that certain body parts have rapidly succumbed to this falling phenomenon. Some people who have passed a certain age refer to this as sagging.

Charlie-Rook’s grand niece told of when she used to fit prosthetics on the elderly in nursing homes.  This one lady was bending over trying to see how she was fitting the device to her thigh and in so doing was hampering Diane’s attempt to getting a proper fit.  The woman’s breast was right in the way preventing Diane from seeing what she was doing. Diane asked, “Mrs. Jones, have you ever worn a brassiere?” to which Mrs. Jones replied, “Oh, yes.  I’m wearing one now.”

In any case I probably won’t ever have this problem because I never had much in the way of body parts that even needed support! I also have not yet begun to talk to the walls, or to furniture like some aging celebrities. I do however, listen to voices in my head that tell me that the day is coming when I not only will talk to chairs and other inanimate objects, I may even shout at them.  I have a few acquaintances that shout when they speak but I was told it is because they are going deaf and need to yell  to hear their own voices.

I use to marvel at grocery store checkers who seemed to speak normally until my husband and I entered the check stand.  Suddenly the checker would be yelling at the top of her lungs.  I just took it for granted that she saw our grey hair and naturally supposed that because we were old we would also be hard of hearing. Never thought it could be the checker who might be going deaf.

Next time I am checking out I will yell right back at her. She will know I am trying to help her to hear me: “YES, I WOULD LIKE THE PRODUCE PLACED IN A SEPARATE BAG FROM THE LAUNDRY DETERGENT AND YES, PLEASE, THE ICE CREAM SHOULD GO INTO AN INSULATED BAG!”  I hope she appreciates my thoughtfulness.